How to Act Against The Tantrums Of Children | Toddler Tantrums & When To Worry
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How to Act Against The Tantrums Of Children | Toddler Tantrums & When To Worry
Difficult children are the eternal headache of parents. 99% of moms and dads face child disobedience. And no matter how paradoxical it seems, in most cases, the bad behavior of children can be won, above all, by radically revising the behavioral reactions of the parent mkisms!
However, parents should understand that “obedience to the will of adults” is not in any way violence to the child’s personality. Do not! But the child must understand from the first years that all decisions in the family are made by the parents and that any prohibition must be implemented without fail, mainly because it guarantees the safety of the child.
As soon as this family law is put “backwards” and the child’s voice becomes dominant in the family (to put it simply: the adults “dance to the rhythm” of the child), at this very moment in the family appears a naughty boy.
Where do the “difficult children” come from?
Before learning to deal with children’s moods and temper tantrums, it is worth discovering how and when, in general, children become “difficult” disobedient children. In fact, the child’s behavior in the family depends mainly on the behavior of the adults.
There are several typical and more common situations in which children “angels” become “monsters” when their parents sit on their necks. Children become capricious, mischievous and hysterical when:
- There are no principles and norms in the family. For example: the father communicates with the child exclusively in the context of his own mental state. Today the father is kind and has permission to see the cartoons before midnight, tomorrow the father is no longer in shape and already at 9:00 p.m. He took the child to sleep.
- When the principles of the adult members of the family differ markedly. For example: at the request of a child to see cartoons after 9 pm, dad says “no way” and mom gives the thumbs up. It is important that parents are united in their positions.
- When parents or other family members in the home are “driven” to the mood of the children and the tantrums. Young children develop their behavior at the level of instincts and conditioned reflexes, which they capture instantly.
If a child with hysteria can get what he does not want, he will always use this method. And just in case the screams and tantrums stop bringing it to the desired result, the child finally stops screaming.
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Keep in mind that children are never capricious, do not cry and do not place tantrums in front of the TV, furniture, toys or a complete stranger. No matter how small a child is, he always clearly distinguishes between who reacts to his “concert” and whose nerves it is useless to “relax” with the help of a scream and a scandal. If you “loosen up” and give in to the children’s mood, you will live with them side by side as long as the child shares the same space with you.
How to stop children’s tantrums:
Most parents believe that turning a “difficult” disobedient and hysterical child into an “angel” is like a miracle. But in reality, this “maneuver” is not at all complicated, but requires a special moral effort, resistance and will of the parents. And it’s worth it! Also, the sooner you start practicing this technique, the calmer and more obedient your child will grow.
Then, the old scheme (as most parents do): as soon as your baby cried and cried, he stood up and hit his head on the ground: you “flew” to him and were ready to do anything to calm him down – I agree to fulfill your wish. In a word, you behaved according to the principle “I will do anything, as long as the child does not cry …”.
A new scheme (this should be done by those who want to “reeducate” a disobedient child): as soon as the baby starts screaming and “causing trouble”, you smile at him calmly and leave the room. But the child should know that you are still listening. And while he screams, you are not returning to his field of visibility. But as soon as (even for a second!).
The boy stopped screaming and crying; again, he returns it with a smile, showing all his paternal tenderness and love. Upon seeing you, the baby will start screaming again, with the same calmness and leaving the room again. And again you come back to him with hugs, smiles and all your adoration of the parents at the exact moment he stops screaming again.
However, one thing is if the baby is hit, something hurts, if he was offended by other children or if a neighbor’s dog scared him … In this case, his crying is completely acceptable and the child needs your support and protection . But throwing comfort, hugging and kissing a child who has just made a tantrum, who is capricious and tries to escape with tears and tears, is another matter. In this case, parents must be inflexible and not succumb to “provocation”.
Therefore, soon, the child will realize: when he is hysterical, he is left alone, he is not heard or obeyed. But as soon as he stops screaming and “causes problems”, they come back to him, love him and are ready to listen.
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